WOW…

This past week has been a rollar coaster of emotions…. from giving up Sugar as part of i Quite Sugar, to starting different processes to understand the underlying issue as to why i am addicted to food (… as it is never the actual addictioin – it is the underlying reason for the addiction which is the killer) and then the monthly visitor which tells you that kids are not on the agenda for the next 9 months….F C U K it has been hard. I have been Angry, sad, anxious, teary, insecure, vunerable. I have not given into my sugar addiction – so that is a HUGE plus, i honour myself for feeling the feelings this week rather than stuffing them down with food, working long hours, flogging myself exercising etc etc etc… i have many ways of not feeling feelings….. but i have felt them… and it is all ok to feel the way that i do and have. . I have been dealing with some deep down and dirty secrets this week….

I started a power yoga class on Tuesday morning  and i LOVE IT. Coupled with my awesome yoga class on Thursday evening – it is the perfect compliment – the perfect balance.

 

The Weekly Wrap up

This past week has been mostly fantastic. Work has been great, work colleagues even more so than in the past, it seems like the switch in my head has been switched “on” as the lack of sugar is going really quite well despite a small interruption on Tuesday night – compared to any normal week – this week has been SUPER DOOPER CLEAN! The first week in the I Quit Sugar is not to go cold turkey although to realise how much Fructose is in most everything that we eat. I rode to work on Thursday morning 12kms and i rode the bike home this morning and met Neil for Breakfast  & Coffee @ Elixir. I attended a follow up Reiki session friday morning and so many great things are happening… as i am trusting in myself finally….im allowing me to be me. Yoga on Thursday evening was amazing and i am actually keen to attend a power yoga session on Tuesday morning @ 6am. ( i wish the buses were working earlier than that – but alas… will work something out). Life is moving in the right direction. I am blessed and grateful. I am me. I am loving Me.

Green and Growing

The past week i took the three days off between easter and Anzac today which gave a total of 10 consecutives days away from the office.  A LOT has been accomplished in this time… and most especially the following;

1. Plan of attack and support to elimating sugar from my diet. Small steps initially with the look to make this a lifestyle change rather than a diet only. HUGE Difference;

2. My relationship with my husband is simply much more fulfilling – as simply we both read – the 5 love languages and it has SERIOUSLY made a HUGE difference…already.. in such a short amount of time;

3. Stripping and painting the Door and Door Jam to our Bedroom – the bedroom is about to get made over with new wardrobes (has no wardrobes currently) and a bit of tarting up! It is currently quite bland and requries some love given to it!

4. Filled up my energy tank by meeting with and talking with MANY friends this past week…. as i said on Monday past – my life is full of abundance in respect to friends and if i ever feel/say that i dont have support – please slap me as there are many fabulous and supportive friends around me.

5. I shared my photos online this week – https://www.flickr.com/photos/lesleycross/ and it has encouraged me to further explore my photography and other creative outlets like sewing and mosaics;

6. I have found my mojo again….. its magical what happens when your love tank is filling up – how much more you want to do – how much more alive you become – how much more my life is so freaking awesome. My life is pretty freaking awesome!

Back to work tomorrow and i will take it as it comes. I promise i will be finding balance. I wont take on additional tasks without offloading some others. I will keep within a timeframe of work hours – unless absolutely freaking necessary. I will be exercising 3 times a week walking/Running/cycling etc and 3 times a week will be my home yoga practice. I cant handle extreme behaviour anymore as there is no pay off for any of it.

Please take a look at my photos and i hope you enjoy them as much as i do.

My name is Lesley and i am a ….

Sugar Addict. Yes. I am a sugar Addict. I am an emotional eater and the sweeter the better. I eat when i am happy. When i am sad. When i am bored. When i am excited. When i am confused. When i am procrastinating. Basically… my weapon of choice against myself is that i am an overeater with a preference for Sugar. Yes = i could stop – but much like any other addiction – it is an addiction. it has a hold on me. I crave it. I crave the energy hit, the comfort.

Although….how does this serve me? It doesnt and tonight i am drawing the line on this behaviour.

I have purchased Sarah Wilson – I Quit Sugar 8 week detox program and cookbook. This time knowing and being aware that i generally dont finish things = i will finish this. I am sick of feeling lethargic, bloated, moody, achey, stiff, limited etc. Whom wants to feel like that? Whom would want to live with someone whom feels like that. NO ONE!

Moving forward, i will using the 4 agreements to complete this lifestyle change – 1. Walk my talk (do what i  say i am going to do), 2. Dont take things personally (Dont eat when things get stressful), 3. Dont Assume – Ask (do my research on whats right for my body) and 4. do my best.

Tonight we are spending time with friends whom have are up to Week 7 of 8 of the I Quit Sugar Detox. I will be asking many questions and asking for support as i do believe that i need accountabillity when it comes to things such as this – although i do have to be kind to myself and nuture myself along the way. Nuturing myself is not my forte as i tend to people please and make sure others are ok before myself – but that is changing also. How am i to help others if i can not help/give to myself? I simply can not and will not continue down this path. My adrenal gland is depleted and the more i nuture myself – the more i will be able to fill my tank back up!

Let me know what you have done to change a Lifestyle that has not served you? What made the difference for you to stay on track?

Thanking you for allowing me to share how i feel. Thank you for reading x

Enjoy your Friday night!

LOVE…….

Ladies and Gentlement – the key to a successful marriage i believe is making sure that you understand what your partners love language is.

Is it Quality Time? Is it words of Affirmation, it is Acts of Service, Is it Physical touch or is it receiving gifts.

I believe if you learn to know this early into the relationship – no matter what the relationship – you can definetely have a fulfilling relationship – as long as the partner to that relationship also knows yours… nothing worse than unreciprocated love…..

ABUNDANCE

Last night after a full day i realised how abundant my life is with the number of beautiful supportive friends that i have in my life.

Easter Monday Morning started off with a walk around Brisbane city  with my Lab/Retreiver – Nelson – to meet wtih some friends afterwards at the Kangaroo Clife Cafe for breakfast! I met wtih Karlee, Roba, Ann-Marie, Louis, Ingred, Alison, Bec, Alannah and two peeps whom i have never met before!

I came home to put together a Roast Pumpkin Salad to take to our dear friends, Jamie, Mel & Cameron’ place for Jamie Birthday lunch get together!

After this i took Barney, My pure bred Lab – to meet with my Yoga Friend, Cara and her Choc Lab, Charlie, to go for a walk around her area. I LOVED the walk, i loved the companioinship and loved the freedom.

I come home to my Husband playing Strategic Games with our mate Greg. After they finished playing – we all sat down and talked about life, work etc. Greg and I work in the same industry – so it was nice to discuss somethings that he would know about. We then also talked about his change in Lifestyle – whcih has been bought about by following the I Quit Sugar lifestyle change. I know i am addicted to Sugar. I am not in denial although as i my husband so truthfully pointed out last night… i dont tend to stick with anything to the end…..especially when it comes to myself. Yip. He has a point. This is something that i am going to further investigate.

Yes – abundance in abundance…. i am forever grateful for all that is in my life. It is either a blessing or a Lesson.

Easter Sunday

After taking myself off for a walk, i came back all reinvigorated although calm. I proceeded to paint the bedroom door which i had taken off its hinges and stripped back. I then went fruit shopping at Charlies… and found a campos coffee open and then home to do some household chores… its amazing what happens when you draw a line in the sand and look forward with no excuses and start to take control of the controllables…

I then stripped back the door jam to our bedroom to which the door belongs. My intention is to complete the bedroom with the skirting boards need stripping and painting and install some wardrobes as there are currently are none and look to install a bed head of sorts and put frames on the wall… slowly  but steady and on budget.

I ate well yesterday although i did have some bread….for lunch and dinner. No chocolate – which is an absolute first for me although i had a piece of carob when we went and got a coffee.

                                        “As i forgive myself and surrender to acceptance of me i will love”

My Journey

My Journey over the past nearly 3 years has taken me from the lowest lows to the highest highs. I have learnt many lessons although the one that keeps me stumped is self nurturing and acceptance.

What is it about self nuturing and acceptance that i just dont know how to do or what it is…. I know i tend to intellectualise/analyse EVERYTHING and to honest – i know that behaviour is keeping me stuck and not moving forward.

The first piece of nuturing is with what i am putting into my body. I am sure that with what i am currently eating – it is simply not right for my body as im not feeling energetic nor am i looking healthy. I was called Roly Poly this morning after seeing photos of myself riding a horse yesterday….. i am not upset with that comment as it is the truth. Im simply disappointed that i allowed all the weight that i lost wtih 12wbt to come back into my life due to my inability to clear away the excuses and keep control on what i was eating…. I am reading currently – You are WHY you eat…. Dr Ramani Durvasula. Great book. Truth. Honesty.

I have reinvigorated this blog as i need to outlay what i am feeling as i am dealing with some interesting things at the moment not just with myself but with several key people in my life and i tend to be bale to articulate in words better than verbal discussions with others.

Happy Easter to all. It is a time of forgiveness and new beginnings. I am needing this for myself – Forgiveness and New Beginnings.

Week 1 Round 3 12wbt 2013

Its Friday morning and summer is definetly coming. Its gearing up to be a big and tiring weekend here and being sick at present – makes it seem a litle overwhelming – but alas…im alive, the sun is shining and i am grateful! Grateful for the awesome friends, family and Husband that i have. BLESSED xx

Grateful

This past week has been an interesting one for many reasons…

1. Went to Melbourne for work. Made me realise by listening to some negativity down there that it is draining on the people whom listen – so going forward – if i have some negativity that i need to vent – it will be to a journal or something inanimate and if i need to further download – then i will call on someone whom i know will give me the best advice – so simply the ear i need for to listen.

2. Relations with other work colleagues whom have a similar personality to me – I have to learn to accept some situations and some people and even if i believe that what they are trying to do is wrong or indifferent and as long as my integrity is not upset and im in no moral or physical danger – then soooo be it. I need to learn how to diffuse some situations in the sense tha i am an aries, im stubborn and im just as much to blame for certain conversation purely by the way i react. Some people just need to win their power battle… im getting to the point where that simply does not interest me at all.. its too draining and there is simply other stuff which is so much more important.

3. My dad ended up in hospital this week. The hospital was a small hospital and he was released after lunch yesterday but they do not definetely know what is wrong as yet although he is comfortable to travel and will be in brisbane next week. When he gets home – he needs to immediately go to his GP and get this issue sorted. One relief is that it is not heart related. Phew.

4. A colleague of neils passed away this week by his own intent. I met him for the first time last week and i must say i have been touched by this more than probably i should be. im saddened for him, his family and his friends and for the people whom worked with him. He was only married 6 weeks ago.  I am saddened that he could see no other option. I am saddened that depression take such a hold on people and its grip is so unrelenting if you allow it to be.

Therefore after all that ranting – i am grateful for my life – the good, the bad and the ugly. It is my life, i love my life, i love the people and things in my life – they are there because i want them there – some unknown for the reason at this point – but none the less – it is what it is.

I need a holiday and the 56 days until we leave for our German Trip seems so far away – yet not so long to wait for.

Enjoy your weekend – i know i will

xx